Archives

Some Days

SHALLOW by Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper 2nd try Two things happened today: I watched A Star is Born for the first time. And I my chronic invisible illness decided to flare. I’m currently in so much physical pain, every joint feels like it’ll never work again, it’s agony on my feet to walk to […]

Read More

What Post Traumatic Stress Looks Like

This is what a PTSD attack looks like for me. Sometimes I’m a lot more physical than I am here. Rocking, pacing, and other things. No one can touch me when I’m in this state. The sense of touch makes me want to crawl out of my skin when I’m in this state. PTSD attacks […]

Read More

ALL IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

Post-physio glow. I will be crying and in unbelievable amounts of pain later on. But I’m happy I got the second consecutive day of my new physio routine done. It’s working every single part of my body … and every single part of my body is feeling it.

Read More

Shouldn’t Matter But It Does

I was out someplace. Someplace where I sorta-did/sorta-didn’t, know most of the other folk there. Everyone’s doing their own thing at Someplace. I remember the state I felt I was in. I remember I’d dragged myself, with every ounce of I-Think-I-Can, to Someplace, that day. I had been *regular person* sick for a couple of […]

Read More

When Beginnings End

I never knew love could hurt so much. I’m coming to the end of a 19 year marriage. It’s amicable. It’s a peaceful finale. I’m constantly aware of the reasons, the logic, the adjustments … they’re all easy to see, they’re ever-present. As it turns out, the end isn’t the hardest part for me. For […]

Read More

Too Tired For This Shit

So tired. So so so fucking tired. And so so so fucking tired of feeling tired. But it’s okay, because all I have to do is look at nature’s flowers and my spirits are uplifted, I’m suddenly riding a raging florgy.  And I can always just think of happy thoughts and that will make me […]

Read More

Thank You Note

I wanted to say thank you to all who reached out to support me recently. It was both unexpected and touched me deeply. I had a supportive Skype consultation (because I couldn’t get there physically) with my physio yesterday. We discussed my deconditioning and medical induced PTSD in relation to what needs to be done […]

Read More