Archives

Some Days

SHALLOW by Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper 2nd try Two things happened today: I watched A Star is Born for the first time. And I my chronic invisible illness decided to flare. I’m currently in so much physical pain, every joint feels like it’ll never work again, it’s agony on my feet to walk to […]

Read More

BE GOOD TO YOU

Don’t get down on yourself today. Give yourself a little give today. You don’t have to master anything today. You don’t even have to try today. It’s okay to feel like you can’t go on today. You know what? Today might just not be your day. We all have those days. I’ve had a seriously […]

Read More

All of Me

I’m 43. Having illnesses as a child that impacted my family’s holidays, gatherings, celebrations etc., I have always felt like I was/am a burden on people. Most saddening, that I am a burden on the people I love the most. The people I only want to bring love, life and beautiful moments to. People tell […]

Read More

What Post Traumatic Stress Looks Like

This is what a PTSD attack looks like for me. Sometimes I’m a lot more physical than I am here. Rocking, pacing, and other things. No one can touch me when I’m in this state. The sense of touch makes me want to crawl out of my skin when I’m in this state. PTSD attacks […]

Read More

ALL IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

Post-physio glow. I will be crying and in unbelievable amounts of pain later on. But I’m happy I got the second consecutive day of my new physio routine done. It’s working every single part of my body … and every single part of my body is feeling it.

Read More

Shouldn’t Matter But It Does

I was out someplace. Someplace where I sorta-did/sorta-didn’t, know most of the other folk there. Everyone’s doing their own thing at Someplace. I remember the state I felt I was in. I remember I’d dragged myself, with every ounce of I-Think-I-Can, to Someplace, that day. I had been *regular person* sick for a couple of […]

Read More

When Beginnings End

I never knew love could hurt so much. I’m coming to the end of a 19 year marriage. It’s amicable. It’s a peaceful finale. I’m constantly aware of the reasons, the logic, the adjustments … they’re all easy to see, they’re ever-present. As it turns out, the end isn’t the hardest part for me. For […]

Read More

Too Tired For This Shit

So tired. So so so fucking tired. And so so so fucking tired of feeling tired. But it’s okay, because all I have to do is look at nature’s flowers and my spirits are uplifted, I’m suddenly riding a raging florgy.  And I can always just think of happy thoughts and that will make me […]

Read More

HOODIE HIBERNATING

A well established self-saboteur who can see something good coming her way, but is trying to intercept the self-sabotage reflex = me needing some hoodie hibernation time. Not everyone will understand this photo and statement, but for those who do, I want you to know if you’re trying to change that habit, you’re not alone. […]

Read More