Posted on April 24, 2022 Leave a Comment
SHALLOW by Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper 2nd try Two things happened today: I watched A Star is Born for the first time. And I my chronic invisible illness decided to flare. I’m currently in so much physical pain, every joint feels like it’ll never work again, it’s agony on my feet to walk to […]
Posted on October 12, 2021 Leave a Comment
Don’t get down on yourself today. Give yourself a little give today. You don’t have to master anything today. You don’t even have to try today. It’s okay to feel like you can’t go on today. You know what? Today might just not be your day. We all have those days. I’ve had a seriously […]
Posted on July 7, 2021 Leave a Comment
I’m 43. Having illnesses as a child that impacted my family’s holidays, gatherings, celebrations etc., I have always felt like I was/am a burden on people. Most saddening, that I am a burden on the people I love the most. The people I only want to bring love, life and beautiful moments to. People tell […]
Posted on June 23, 2021 Leave a Comment
Recovery is an unsteady beast. At this point, with some of the horrific complications that have happened, my recovery could easily not happen – especially when so much of the battle is mental and my mental health state is so difficult (I’m seeing an excellent psychologist.) I’m grateful for my mother and father, my beautiful […]
Posted on January 22, 2020 Leave a Comment
This is what a PTSD attack looks like for me. Sometimes I’m a lot more physical than I am here. Rocking, pacing, and other things. No one can touch me when I’m in this state. The sense of touch makes me want to crawl out of my skin when I’m in this state. PTSD attacks […]
Posted on December 10, 2019 Leave a Comment
Post-physio glow. I will be crying and in unbelievable amounts of pain later on. But I’m happy I got the second consecutive day of my new physio routine done. It’s working every single part of my body … and every single part of my body is feeling it.
Posted on November 17, 2019 Leave a Comment
I was out someplace. Someplace where I sorta-did/sorta-didn’t, know most of the other folk there. Everyone’s doing their own thing at Someplace. I remember the state I felt I was in. I remember I’d dragged myself, with every ounce of I-Think-I-Can, to Someplace, that day. I had been *regular person* sick for a couple of […]
Posted on August 10, 2019 2 Comments
I never knew love could hurt so much. I’m coming to the end of a 19 year marriage. It’s amicable. It’s a peaceful finale. I’m constantly aware of the reasons, the logic, the adjustments … they’re all easy to see, they’re ever-present. As it turns out, the end isn’t the hardest part for me. For […]
Posted on August 5, 2019 Leave a Comment
So tired. So so so fucking tired. And so so so fucking tired of feeling tired. But it’s okay, because all I have to do is look at nature’s flowers and my spirits are uplifted, I’m suddenly riding a raging florgy. And I can always just think of happy thoughts and that will make me […]
Posted on July 14, 2019 Leave a Comment
A well established self-saboteur who can see something good coming her way, but is trying to intercept the self-sabotage reflex = me needing some hoodie hibernation time. Not everyone will understand this photo and statement, but for those who do, I want you to know if you’re trying to change that habit, you’re not alone. […]
Posted on July 11, 2019 Leave a Comment
I wanted to say thank you to all who reached out to support me recently. It was both unexpected and touched me deeply. I had a supportive Skype consultation (because I couldn’t get there physically) with my physio yesterday. We discussed my deconditioning and medical induced PTSD in relation to what needs to be done […]
Posted on July 3, 2019 Leave a Comment
#tb and #goals 💓 Not a day goes by that I don’t think of the fight I’m in right now and the fight that I have ahead of me, in order to get some kind of a life back. I see photos like this one (below), from before my health spiral/degeneration, and it’s a bittersweet […]
Posted on May 7, 2019 Leave a Comment
Don’t get down on yourself today. Give yourself a little give today. You don’t have to master anything today. You don’t even have to master trying, today. You know what? Today just might not be your day. We all have those days. Most people don’t have too many of those days back-to-back, others do. I’ve […]
Posted on May 7, 2019 Leave a Comment
Sometimes, after another health event, someone will say: I don’t know how you keep going. I’d just like to clarify something, and that is … Sometimes I don’t think I can.
Posted on May 7, 2019 Leave a Comment
… because honestly, it would be so much easier that way. The drums of negative self-belief could keep beating. My heart could stay caged. The comfort zone of all I have ever seen could remain securely in my surrounds. I wouldn’t have to step even a toe through that grating, uncomfortable barrier that has been […]
Posted on May 7, 2019 Leave a Comment
Someone asked me today, ‘Do you have support?’ I’m lucky that I could say yes. An absolute, unequivocal YES! My family and friends who support me are angels. It’s not easy to support a chronically ill person. I get that. It’s hard to see someone you love hurt, weak etc. And it can be physically […]
Posted on May 7, 2019 Leave a Comment
Just wanted to say… You are so worth every bit of luscious love and care you can muster up and give to yourself. You are you. And that is gorgeously right. 🙂 It is so important that we take the time to think about what satisfies us in life. At some point our journeys are […]
Posted on May 7, 2019 Leave a Comment
So yesterday I was doing my usual VERY limited ballet/physio routine, basically just tendus: one to front, one to side, one to back – then repeat on the other side. But I added some developpe-ish moves to the end of my session. I happened to be recording that ballet/physio session, and when I looked back […]
Posted on April 9, 2018 Leave a Comment
This blog is no exception to that rule, needs her own beginning, so I’m starting now. My name is Zoë. I am not a thing, like a florist or a teacher etc. But I have done many things. I lived my whole life, a staggering 38 years, with ebbing and flowing ill health. Lots of […]
SHALLOW by Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper 2nd try Two things happened today: I watched A Star is Born for the first time. And I my chronic invisible illness decided to flare. I’m currently in so much physical pain, every joint feels like it’ll never work again, it’s agony on my feet to walk to…
Don’t get down on yourself today. Give yourself a little give today. You don’t have to master anything today. You don’t even have to try today. It’s okay to feel like you can’t go on today. You know what? Today might just not be your day. We all have those days. I’ve had a seriously…
SPECTACULAR MISTAKE 