Archives

Some Days

SHALLOW by Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper 2nd try Two things happened today: I watched A Star is Born for the first time. And I my chronic invisible illness decided to flare. I’m currently in so much physical pain, every joint feels like it’ll never work again, it’s agony on my feet to walk to […]

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BE GOOD TO YOU

Don’t get down on yourself today. Give yourself a little give today. You don’t have to master anything today. You don’t even have to try today. It’s okay to feel like you can’t go on today. You know what? Today might just not be your day. We all have those days. I’ve had a seriously […]

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What Post Traumatic Stress Looks Like

This is what a PTSD attack looks like for me. Sometimes I’m a lot more physical than I am here. Rocking, pacing, and other things. No one can touch me when I’m in this state. The sense of touch makes me want to crawl out of my skin when I’m in this state. PTSD attacks […]

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ALL IS NOT WHAT IT SEEMS

Post-physio glow. I will be crying and in unbelievable amounts of pain later on. But I’m happy I got the second consecutive day of my new physio routine done. It’s working every single part of my body … and every single part of my body is feeling it.

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Shouldn’t Matter But It Does

I was out someplace. Someplace where I sorta-did/sorta-didn’t, know most of the other folk there. Everyone’s doing their own thing at Someplace. I remember the state I felt I was in. I remember I’d dragged myself, with every ounce of I-Think-I-Can, to Someplace, that day. I had been *regular person* sick for a couple of […]

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When Beginnings End

I never knew love could hurt so much. I’m coming to the end of a 19 year marriage. It’s amicable. It’s a peaceful finale. I’m constantly aware of the reasons, the logic, the adjustments … they’re all easy to see, they’re ever-present. As it turns out, the end isn’t the hardest part for me. For […]

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Too Tired For This Shit

So tired. So so so fucking tired. And so so so fucking tired of feeling tired. But it’s okay, because all I have to do is look at nature’s flowers and my spirits are uplifted, I’m suddenly riding a raging florgy.  And I can always just think of happy thoughts and that will make me […]

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#TB #GOALS

#tb and #goals 💓 Not a day goes by that I don’t think of the fight I’m in right now and the fight that I have ahead of me, in order to get some kind of a life back. I see photos like this one (below), from before my health spiral/degeneration, and it’s a bittersweet […]

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Hope

Don’t get down on yourself today. Give yourself a little give today. You don’t have to master anything today. You don’t even have to master trying, today. You know what? Today just might not be your day. We all have those days. Most people don’t have too many of those days back-to-back, others do. I’ve […]

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Just Wanted To Say

Sometimes, after another health event, someone will say: I don’t know how you keep going. I’d just like to clarify something, and that is … Sometimes I don’t think I can.

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Please Don’t Believe In Me …

… because honestly, it would be so much easier that way. The drums of negative self-belief could keep beating. My heart could stay caged. The comfort zone of all I have ever seen could remain securely in my surrounds. I wouldn’t have to step even a toe through that grating, uncomfortable barrier that has been […]

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I Wish You Support

Someone asked me today, ‘Do you have support?’ I’m lucky that I could say yes. An absolute, unequivocal YES! My family and friends who support me are angels. It’s not easy to support a chronically ill person. I get that. It’s hard to see someone you love hurt, weak etc. And it can be physically […]

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Had Myself A Little Thought

Just wanted to say… You are so worth every bit of luscious love and care you can muster up and give to yourself. You are you. And that is gorgeously right. 🙂 It is so important that we take the time to think about what satisfies us in life. At some point our journeys are […]

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