I wanted to say thank you to all who reached out to support me recently.
It was both unexpected and touched me deeply.
I had a supportive Skype consultation (because I couldn’t get there physically) with my physio yesterday. We discussed my deconditioning and medical induced PTSD in relation to what needs to be done for me to actually make it out of this shithole.
That conversation was a scary one to have. We got real. Like, really fucking real. *Side note: fear is an emotion none of us want to feel, but it is so helpful to try to understand that fear is a natural response (we’re not weirdos or weak if we feel scared) and also try to empathise with ourselves and why we’re feeling that fear. Just can sometimes help take the edge off the fear-of-feeling-fear downwards spiral that can sometimes take over*
As well as being scary, that conversation also helped calm my shattered nerves and put a plan in place, that gave some solidity and boundaries back, to a chick who was feeling like she was trying not to die while crawling across an ocean of quicksand.
I’m leaving the house tomorrow. Big accomplishment for where I’m at right now.
Although, I am leaving the house tomorrow to see my therapist. So, things could go either way for me on that one.
Anyway, that’s my update for you lovely supportive souls out there.
Lastly, those who know me, know I can’t leave a “touched me deeply” remark go unappreciated. So … remember, last time you supported me, it was almost penetrable — thanks a bunch you magnificently filthy people, for touching me so, sooo damn deeply.
Nothing like a good support-orgy now and then.
____
P.S. the photo is my hairbun, and an achievement in itself because, until I found my new #EDS physio, my neck and headaches had been so bad I couldn’t grow hair long enough for a bun.
Love, Zoë
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